You might read this section and think to yourself that we are quacks. But this is probably what we consider some of our best dating advice and it requires you to really sit down and have a heart to heart with YOURSELF.
When two people come together to see if there could be a romantic relationship we assume the progression goes from dating, to committed relationship and continues on to engagement and marriage. The additional derivatives can lead us away from that path by choice or by accident such as open relationships, booty calls, and the ever classic one-night-stand.
Dating success begins with a strong foundation of principles that will help you navigate your way through the sometimes murky waters of the dating pool. We veer our advice towards the SERIOUS search for true love. However, many people have different reasons for dating. For some it’s just a fun thing to do while you casually look for THE ONE or it could be something to keep you from spending time alone. Who knows, it could be something you are doing to make another person jealous. It is important to clearly define how you want to date and be comfortable communicating that to the world.
That is the very first perfect step you need to take!
Visualize the ideal relationship you’d like to have. What kind of relationship are you looking for: serious, casual, or just hook-ups? What do you hope will be the result of your dating? Don’t be afraid of admitting what you really want. You are the captain of this ship. Are you looking for a committed relationship and will be content if it stops there or are you looking for marriage, kids, and the whole nine?
Dating is about you!
Take as long as you need to write down on a piece of paper what kind of relationship you want to find and be totally honest with yourself. Get really SPECIFIC! Don’t hold back. And if it turns out that you are not sure what you want, but you’d be highly influenced by the desires of your future mate, then indicate that too.
If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?
You've had the heart to heart with yourself and decided exactly what kind of relationship you want. What’s next? Own it and do what is necessary to achieve it.
As and example, imagine you have a friend named Jenny who's dating a guy. Very early on in the relationship she asked him where he wanted things to go. He said he wasn't sure but he didn't want to stop seeing her. Jenny had such a great time with him so against her better judgment, she hung in there because she believed that he just needed some time to appreciate and value their relationship. What Jenny wasn't prepared for was that he suddenly dumped her when he met someone new. She was truly heartbroken.
There are many morals in that story, but the main reason for using it as an example is that Jenny could have avoided a broken heart if she stood up for what SHE WANTED! SHE WANTED A RELATIONSHIP! She settled for the uncertainty and had more faith in thinking it would all work out if she just gave him a chance to value her company. Many people suffer from secretly hoping that the person that they are dating will change and suddenly appreciate and love them the way they want them to.
Embrace what you want, share it, and DATE OTHERS WITH THE SAME DATING GOALS. Don’t take any substitutions. This should be your number one DEAL BREAKER! Knowing what results YOU want from your dating efforts will actually help you DATE SMARTER! So ultimately, know what you want your dating results to be, then find out if your prospect wants the same. If they don’t, walk.
DATE SELFISHLY!
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