You Asked: How Can I Stop Being Her Friend & Be Her Boyfriend?

Dear Veltis:
I’ve been friends with a girl for a year now and I can’t seem to get her to be more than just that. She sees me as just a buddy to hang out with when she’s not dating anyone. How can I stop being her friend and be her boyfriend? (Scott)

Scott, I am so sorry to tell you this but it may be too late to change things. But since you are such a sweetie, I am going to do you a favor and tell you how this happened and give you some options, okay. So here it goes.

For women the magic starts in the very beginning. Sometimes friendships can grow into love, but you better believe it wasn’t the woman’s idea to be just friends.

Try asking her flat out on a "real date". That should make it quite clear that you want to be more than just friends. If she accepts, really make it relaxing, nothing like your usual time together.

Be charming. Being charming includes a physical element that lets a woman see you in a different light than friendship such as, holding hands when you “hang out”, positioning yourself close to her, close enough to kiss her. The physical element lets her know that you are attracted to her. There is no other way. You need to set this up in the very beginning. If she let's you get close, perfect. If he rears away or doesn't look comfortable, there is no attraction there. Move on.

When you talk to her notice if she flirts. If she doesn’t flirt with you, it’s a wrap. There is no attraction there. Move on.

If she does flirt with you, act quickly and just plant one on her… a kiss that is. It’s your first kiss so make it count. NEVER ASK if it’s okay to kiss her. Women hate that. We have to think about it and wonder why everything has become so awkward all of a sudden. So by all means, lean in and show Cupid he didn’t waste his arrow on you.

That should get a “Wow!”

Good luck, Scott!

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