How To Transition Out Of A Relationship And Be Friends If You Were The One Who Ended Things

After you’ve decided to break up with someone, give it some time before reaching out to that person because you could be putting the nail in the coffin, damaging the healing time they need to get over the rejection. Give it a good 2 to 3 weeks. Try to contact them by email or message them gently with a quick hello, how are you.

o Don’t talk about your new dates or relationships.

o Call, message, or email to see how the other is doing, the most once a week, the least once a month. This keeps the connection going.

o Don’t talk about your relationship and what went wrong. If they start, you must tell them that it’s too soon to talk about that.

o Meeting them in a public place is fine. Refrain from spending time with them where the two of you are totally alone! It’s too easy for them to become emotional and you’ll end up hurting them more. The safest way to do it is to meet for coffee or 1 drink.

o Don’t flirt. Flirting leads to sex.  Make it clear that is off the table, unless you want to undo everything and get back together.

o Don’t sleep with them for old time sake or because it’s comfortable.
Be available to talk to them when they need someone to talk to. This is now you can be a friend. You don’t want to lead them on and hurt them more, do you? Also, give yourself the romantic space you wanted.

o Don’t sleep with their friends. This further creates a rift between you. If there is a strong attraction between you and the friend, be courteous to let your ex know ahead of time.  They can’t stop you from dating anyone, but do this out of courtesy since you are friends.

o Help them find somebody new. Why not? You are friends now and there is nothing between you any more. If you are on the fence about that, this act should help you too. Set them up on a few dates. It could help them see that there are options for them and make amends.

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