How To Deal With The Past

The past often has a lot to do with our reluctance to pursue new romantic endeavors. After a bad romantic experience, we learn to be a little shy about diving right back into the murky waters of dating again. We all have horror stories about how we were rejected or disappointed by our past courtships. These memories are emotionally strong and often don't have explanations or closure, which traumatizes us even more. The fear of rejection plays, rewinds, and replays in slow motion in our minds, haunting our present and sabotaging our future. We obsess about the details. We are bitter. We ask "WHY?" We blame ourselves and wonder what we did wrong. We begin to believe that we are undesirable, unwanted, cursed and sometimes even unlovable.

In order to move forward, we must put the past behind us.

Don't blame yourself. You can apologize, but you can't go back and change something that happened in the past. The way to make peace with the past is to be the best person you can be right now. Do what you feel is right and don't compromise your beliefs. Blaming yourself in the present tense is only going to compromise who you are.  If you were in the wrong, don't deny it, just be ready to make better choices in the present.

YES, the past sucked and it’s back there, with your childhood, High School, and your virginity. Are you living inside last week or 10 years ago?  Nope.  IT’S DONE! You’re home free. It’s not going to happen again the same way cause you’re SMARTER and more in tuned with the way things work in the world.


No matter how difficult your situation, how hard it’s been, you are a desirable catch! Never forget that. You probably have 3 or 4 people who think you are their perfect match, but either you can't see them, they aren't what you are looking for, or the timing is just dead wrong. That's still a great start! Your odds will change as you venture forth and only you can make that happen.

How? BE POSITIVE! It's hard to be positive after your heart's been broken and you've been rejected, but your positive attitude is the most crucial element to your dating success. BELIEVE IN LOVE! Know that it is out there just waiting for you! Get into the mindset that the glass is always half full even there is only a drop of water in there!

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