How To Get Over Your Dating Limitations
It’s so important to know the specific things you like whether it is a specific height, hair color, hair length, ethnicity, music taste, and in many cases even occupation. These are the individuals we consider our TYPE regardless we are their type at all. This laundry list of requirements we feel we MUST have in order to be attracted to an individual.
As an example, imagine that you have a friend Kathy who dated a guy she fell madly in love with. Their relationship ended but ever since then she’s been attracted to the same physical and personality traits of her ex. Why is that? Kathy is still looking to complete the romantic dream she imagined with her ex.
Having a TYPE is where most people fail at dating right from the start. They are reliving the same relationships that don’t work over and over again. What’s even worse is not realizing that you may actually have a TYPE.
Eliminate your TYPE and your chances of success will improve.
Only allowing yourself to date your TYPE may be TRAPPING YOU INTO A CYCLE of experiencing the same relationship failures over and over again. Thank God for EXs because they were brought to us to learn how to DATE SMARTER.
Examine all of your past relationships or relationship attempts. Were there any similarities? What went wrong? Were they commitment phobic? Were you always the aggressor or were you passive? Were they abusive? Did they all have the same line of work? Did they have addictions? Did money play a part in the relationship? Did you do whatever they wanted because they were beautiful and too afraid they would leave? Were they too emotional, or not emotional enough? Did you meet them in the same kind of place or through a certain kind of friend? Did things get ugly? Did you do some things out of line? Be completely honest.
Deconstruct every last one of your past relationships and even your crushes. Leave no detail unturned. The idea is not to obsess about the past or to blame yourself. It’s all in the past. You are only trying to find out if there is something in the TYPE of people you are consistently attracted to that commonly leads you toward the very same outcome every time.
This is where you WILL break ground!
In order to overcome the TRAP of desperately needing your TYPE you must identify the part of yourself that needs or craves these people. Sometimes this need further damages our self-worth and ability to feel confident while pursuing new relationships. Think about it and work it through. If you can, talk to a therapist about it. Get to the source of the problem so you can complete yourself instead of looking for someone to complete you. You will not roll over and play dead because some gorgeous guy or girl asks you to. Your heart will not be broken if they walk away.
It’s totally mental.
Some people claim to be only attracted to a certain TYPE of person and beginning a relationship without that key element would not be impossible. Fair enough. But what they are saying is that they accept the pain and heartache that goes along with refusing to learn from mistakes.
We run the risk of making the same dating mistakes over and over again every time we eliminate all others to be with just our TYPE. Your TYPE and the people who are most qualified to be your significant other may be worlds apart. Really examine this. You may be SETTING YOUR SIGHTS TOO LOW!
People are wonderfully different from one another, with different skin colors, sizes, shapes, moles, freckles, and the list goes on. There are some things that are turn-ons and turn-offs, but realizing that sometimes the specifics can change if there is some unspecific attraction that you ALLOW to happen.
Take a look at some variations on your specifics that may be just the edge you need to change your success.
DO NOT LOOK FOR FAULTS IN OTHERS. Keep your options as open as you can possibly make them. Know what you like but know where you MUST be flexible and then STRETCH YOUR FLEXIBILITY a bit more. But NEVER set your standards low in the personality department. You should always be picky about how you are treated in a relationship. Focus more on what that individual understands about you and how complimentary they respond to you versus size, height, eye color, hair color and other aesthetics.
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