Many experts say that the best way to break up with someone is to do it in person (http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-break-up-the-right-way). Their explanation is that you are showing them respect by dumping them eye-to-eye.
Let me tell you something, THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE! Whether is has been long over due or something you’ve just realized you have to do to live a better life, breaking up any which way you do it is going to suck for the person who still feels there is a chance in hell that you can still make it as a couple.
For short term or casual relationships, the separation technique works surprisingly well. Actions speak louder than words. Limit your contact by phone or by email and most importantly stop making plans to spend time with them. That should really do it. Give it a week to three weeks of no contact at all. Most people get the hint and are gone before you can say it’s over. You never had real communication while you were dating so why start now. Perfect then. All of your hard work is done and you didn’t have to put up with the arguing reasons why you’re a mean person and you didn’t have to bear the threats and tears or rejection.
If your relationship is a deep relationship that was at one time a loving one you can break up with them in person, the phone works too. Text or email is just wrong so don’t do it. Hopefully, you’ve tried your best to make it work by having open and honest discussions. If there is no hope, begin to keep your distance for a few weeks of NO CONTACT to let them know something is wrong and you are pulling away from them emotionally. Sexual contact is out of the question for at least a month prior to avoid sending signals that you are still attracted. You will need do all of this to set the stage and to help yourself deal with separation issues too. You won’t be immune to missing your Ex. This time apart will allow you some time to think whether or not you are doing the right thing or not and collect your arguments for your final showdown.
You are not to track them down and confront them. Two to three weeks is not that long to be in limbo if you once were in love. You at least owe the relationship that much. You must let them confront you. And they will confront you seeking answers. Your Ex won’t like what you have to say but there you have it. Everything is out in the open.
Your reasons for breaking up should not be superficial like, there is someone else, because that does not answer the question of exactly why you have reached your limit in the relationship and now you’ve forced them to question their self worth as well, when it was not your intention to make the blow hurt so bad. You can say that you aren’t happy and you’re tired of feeling miserable. You don’t like the fact that your Ex plays too many head games. You’re addicted to relationships when they first start, but get unhappy in the long term. You need a change. You are tired of being smacked around. You need your freedom to see other people. You feel too controlled. You’re a bastard and you want your Ex to be happy. You feel abused. You feel you’re being treated unfairly and you’re not going to put up with it any more. You feel that loving feeling is gone and you don’t see it coming back. These are all really valid feelings. You’ll get a better response by getting to the root of the issues. They will take some time to think about this.
During the silence, tears, or yelling you may want to say something that you may feel will make them happy to still be in your life. There is one thing you must never say. For the love of God, DO NOT say in parting, “I’d like us to be friends” or “Can we still be friends”. Everyone uses it as if it’s a consolation prize not realizing that even for the most casual short-term relationships this is quite belittling.
Let that be unsaid with time for your Ex to heal. The vague promise of friendship can do nothing but entice desperation from a person still in love.
Instead, offer to be there for them whenever they need something. That will let them know that you REALLY still care about what happens to them.
Also, it would be a nice touch to let them know that it’s going to be hard on you too because you’ll miss them.
Don’t dote over this procedure for more than a few minutes. Tell them you have to go and just let it be done.
Phone break up is the best way for your Ex to endure this kind of news. You hang up and they cry. There is no embarrassing scene to ruin what’s left of your relationship as friends. Now the problem with breaking up with someone face to face has several uncontrollable variables. Asking them to meet automatically gives them the false hope that if they could just see you then they can change things around and argue their case in person.
Then there is the possibility for physical violence, which you should never put your self in. And you will be gazing at them as they take your rejection. It will nearly be impossible to keep their composure. It’s very humiliating and an unnecessary way to drive the message home.
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