So here it is… the great game of all games. Here is the scenario: Kelly met John and had a great time talking to him on Thursday. It’s Saturday and she spots John at a party as she knew she would. Kelly pretends that she does not see John until he notices her first. Maybe he’ll CHASE her to let her know that he is interested in her.
How many of us have done this and how many of us still do? We wait for the other person to initiate and chase after us. It is the ultimate validation of being wanted. We giggle as we run away much to slow to get away in the hopes of being caught. There are even books written about how to do execute this tactic to get someone you like to declare their true feelings for you.
First you entice and make the person feel a connection to you, and then you disconnect allowing them to miss you, tease with a re-connection and continue back and forth connecting and disconnecting until you’re blue in the face.
The theory is that if you do this, the person you like will go crazy chasing down and you’ll both live happily ever after haven being caught.
WRONG!
You can’t start a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP by playing games. Don't start off your relationship on the wrong foot, by playing a game to get the attention you really want. You don't have to lay every random thought or feeling on the line, but instead treat your potential love interest as a FRIEND. Would you ignore a friend you like? Don't treat them any different. Remember this; friendship is the cornerstone of fulfilling and lasting relationships.
You are setting a very high standard here. You are not a seven year old at the playground. You aren't going to punch the person you like in the arm and run away. No baby, this is an adult relationship. By treating this person like a friend your are reinforcing their trust in you. They aren't going to feel comfortable with you.
There are two reasons we don't like the tactic of ignoring a person you like so they can chase you. Firstly, it leaves too much to chance. In a way, you are testing them to see just how much they like you over other temptations. It's too early in the relationship for them to know that you are worth pursuing only. You think that they should, but in reality, it is not realistic. Each and every single person has so many options to date, so while you are ignoring the person that you actually like, it’s just as easy for them to give up chasing you to pursue someone that will at least be honest in public. Which leads to the other reason we don't like this tactic. It is dishonest. You really are excited to see them. And this tactic works if someone has a strong sexual attraction to you but not on a deeper level. It avoids cohesive communication which is the glue that keeps relationships together.
Now a healthier way of doing this if you are truly into the HIGH OF BEING CHASED is to simply have a truthful conversation with your love interest after you've established the foundation of your relationship. Tell them that you like a lot of attention and it would be nice to have the feeling of being chased every once in a while. Want to play?
Now it takes on a whole new thrill!
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