I was picked up by this guy at the grocery store, ok. He seduced me, but then told me the following day that he was still not over his ex and he was emotionally unavailable. BUT he also said that he wanted to be friends. After that we had sex again and he was saying how it’s great that we can still be friends. It’s been a few weeks and we’ve been doing the same speech and it kinda cheapens to whole thing. It’s like he’s not sure what we are doing is right or something. What should I do about this? I don’t care that we are friends with benefits, but it's like we’re breaking up all the time we get together. I like him but I am so confused. (Chaz from NYC)
Dating Emergency Answered:
Emotionally unavailable? What the hell is that? His behavior is awful, but he’s only doing this because you are allowing it. I am not sure if he gets some kind of thrill out of reliving some kind of break-up fantasy.
Because your relationship is purely sexual, your detached “friend” thinks you are extremely DESPERATE! He thinks he can treat you any way he wants and you’ll just accept it. He's unaware that this is just fun for you.
You have to make a decision not to accept this painful scenario ever… from anyone… or just take it.
If you want a sexual arrangement, make that clear. Your partners aren't allowed to talk to you about their ex or their FEELINGS no matter what they are. Save the whole speech and get undressed.
And remember moving on is always an awesome option! There are lot's more grocery stores out there.
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